No One Told Me We Were Leveling Up

I have experienced a sprinkling of engagements through my social media feed of acquaintances and peers from college and high school - a few even have kids! But all of a sudden I feel like I have been thrust into a new world where my circle, my core crew, my "caught up on all parts of life" friends, have leveled up to this new phase of adulthood. No longer are we 23 and talking about what party to host next, random fantasy situations, how to finish the school assignment, or the new boy, but instead we are (still 23) planning baby showers, bachelorette parties, and using the phrase "tell your husband I say hi"

LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT.

I am so happy for all my friends. I am so honored that they include me in their big life moments. It kind of feels like middle and high school all over again. I never had a boyfriend, and alllll my friends did. So I was the classic friend that everyone asked advice from but didn't actually have the experience - but had watched enough tv and movies, seen enough drama in real life, and had solid common and emotional sense to help a girl out. It is the same thing but now I am the friend at the beginning stage of this new level, like right on the brink? (TOTALLY HAPPY please do not read into this lol) I am giving wedding advice - I've never had my own wedding. I am giving mommy/pregnancy advice - I have yet to be a mom. I am giving relationship advice to married people - I have never been married.

When being the friend who hasn't hit that life milestone but still is around and supportive it is important to recognize two things 1) You won't have all the answers and at some point you won't understand exactly and 2) just because you haven't experienced those things doesn't mean you are not qualified to help!

So friends, please keep asking

-> I have been to weddings, I have seen the behind the scenes of weddings, I basically majored in executive producing (sort of basically large event planning), I am SO ORGANIZED and have been planning on pinterest since I was 13. I am qualified.

-> Relationships no matter the phase are built on the same foundation, it's just like middle school, I have some sense.

-> I have spent more of my life caring for other people's kids (or my siblings) then I will probably have time to spend with my own kids. Those first few weeks with an infant, I got you, month 7 I got you, terrible twos - I've been there, teething or snarky 7 year old - I. got. you.

I think the point of this blog post is for me to express how crazy it feels to be having conversations about baby names instead of Barbie names and wedding plans instead of budgetless fantasies. AND though I have reached this new level, new phase of life it still includes people on all different trajectories and timelines. The "level" is this age range of friends. Most of us have been out of college for a year to three years (I know, I know we have a lot of life ahead). My friends who are single and living the work life, going to graduate school, working from home, dating around, still figuring out who they are - we are all aging into this phase of life and I am here for it. I will get you ice cream when you have a bad one night stand and I will also come over when you haven't slept in days because the baby won't stop crying.

There is no race. We are all living our lives at our own pace. And to top it all off PEOPLE WE ARE IN THIS NEW ADULT STAGE DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC - GO US!

I think part of the reason this feels like a big step into a new world and not just regular growing up, the reason I can see and feel the shift is because I did not get end of college closure, and so many of my friends understand that, we didn't get our last goodbyes, the walk across the stage, or the obnoxious amount of pictures, we just left and walked into unknown plans, a lot of us back home. Maybe if graduating had included all the typical 'ending' things I would've been looking for this next phase, ready for it, but instead it just suddenly appeared. And let me tell you this phase of life, it is really fun, a little terrifying, pretty confusing, and truly real, real life big girl stuff.

~ Be you

Rachel