Feelin' 2022
I tried to maintain a leap second video this year and only missed a few days. Watching it today it felt like three different lives, three different girls, three different years. My 2021 started in San Francisco spending all my days with my little cousin Evelyn, hanging with my aunt and uncle, and weekend dates with my boyfriend. Fast forward to the summer and I’m never in one place for longer than a week or so: visiting friends in LA, IN, and San Fran, traveling with family, and hanging out in the desert. The third leg of the year I had waited forever to finally happen; the end of August came and I flew to Paris, France for the year and what a life I've been living here.
This year I’ve visited five states and seven countries. With or without Covid that’s a lot. I made a webseries with some amazing people. Loved my voice lessons. Made new friends. And like all years, this one was filled with laughter and tears. Smiles and frowns. Joy and fear. I took some big leaps.
I was reflecting today, as one does when a new year comes in six hours, on what I think and want the next year to hold. I think it will be just as unusual as the past year. The first half will be in Paris where I will continue to grow up, learn about the world, explore culture and who I want to be. After that my only known for sure is going on a family reunion to Hawaii in July. After that its online grad school? A job? Living at home for a minute? Visiting friends? Moving away? Who the hell knows! But you know what? I can tell that I have grown because that many question marks doesn't scare me anymore. It is actually really exciting to me, all the possibilities that my life can hold. For goodness sakes I am exhaustedly typing this in an Italian grandma's living room in ROME. Is this where I thought I would be welcoming in 2022?! Taylor Swift said it best
"We are happy free confused and lonely in the best way"
and that is how I will welcome 2022. It may feel like we are still living in March 2020 and we all dread this reality and are numb to the lose and fear, (Soap box moment: I 100% support everyone being fully vaccinated and wearing masks and staying home when sick) but we made it through the swings and will continue to do so IF WE LEARN FROM WHERE WE HAVE BEEN. Happy: 2021: As I said I lived three lives! I am happy with my host family. I am happy about my time with little Evelyn and family adventures. I am happy I was able to experience big milestones with friends. 2022: I hope to experience "happy" with more trips to the park. Lots of train and car and plane rides because that means I am traveling. And tears of laughter. Free: 2021: I am totally a grown up this year. I traveled the country and the world. I dropped what "typical" responsibilities I "should" have and moved to France. The freedom I experience walking on the Paris streets is insane. This year has brought a lot of big girl decisions and I have made them all. 2022: I am just going to keep growing up. I want to search out opportunities that allow me the freedom to make big and little decisions about my life on my own terms. I will bring my "who says" attitude straight into 2022 and the way I run my life. Confused: 2021: There was a point this year I was not sure what my next step was, France wasn't open and I had no idea what to do with my life. And once I made it to Paris (if you have read my previous blog posts you know) I was still confused about my feelings about being here. 2022: I already know its going to be a confusing year - but I am hoping my past adventures have prepared me for what is to come. Lonely: 2021: I think Covid has taught us a lot about being lonely. I have experienced being lonely in small groups, big groups, and by myself. The obvious example of picking up and moving to a foreign country. But I won't dwell on that - being lonely, I am trying to learn, is not all bad. It has given me the chance to practice stillness (a huge problem for me) and listen to God more. 2022: I foresee lonely times ahead with all the unknown - but I know even when I feel alone I never truly am. Whether near or far my friends and family are always cheering me on and Jesus is in my heart :)
Now I finishing this up with my 9 year old host kid hovering over my shoulder while the table for New Year's Eve dinner is set. There are so many more things I could say about this year and hopes for the next but I am going to leave it at this:
There are going to be mountains and valleys in the year to come - that is not new - what can be new is how we respond to them. Lets jump for joy at big and little things that bring us and those around us happiness. Lets recognize when things are low and find support and rest. Lets remember that the sun will keep rising and setting. 2022 may be the start of a new year but God gave us a way to reset and reflect each day about who we are and who we want to be - it is in fact recommended to see at least one sunset everyday.
~ Be you
Rachel
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