A Quarter of a Century
Updated: Apr 9, 2022
One my favorite things I have heard about birthdays recently is that when we turn a new age, we don’t lose the previous years. I may be turning 25, but I am still that 9 year old girl who had big dreams, the 15 year old who was stressed and sad, the 21 year old who had no idea what real heartbreak was, the 5 year old who had so many questions and now I am also the 25 year old, who thinks she knows a lot but because of that, she knows there is so much still to discover and learn.
So below are 25 things. Things I’ve learned, things I’ve loved, things I’ve experienced. Just 25 thoughts. Some advice, some stories, some random facts. A lot happens in 25 years of a person’s life. I have been at least 25 different people. Some I really liked, some needed a lot growth and help, and some I miss.
So enjoy.
My list of 25 things:
1) Other people’s opinions of you are not your responsibility.
This took a very long time for me to figure out. The amount of freedom I experience when I repeat this mentality to myself is magical. You have to live your life on YOUR terms, by YOUR values, and YOUR picture for YOUR life. What other people think about you or your choices, doesn’t matter.
2) A short story that I randomly remembered today.
One time I took a special chocolate out of the chocolate bowl (not the one meant for me) and I wasn’t supposed to. I remember it melting in my pocket, and eating it secretly in the Olive Garden bathroom. And then like a day or so later my family was dancing around and singing and cleaning the living room and my mom was like – where is that piece of chocolate and I denied it like my life depended on it. And my sister and I got in so much trouble. Or at least that is what I think happened – my memory really is just sneaking a chocolate in the bathroom of a restaurant and somehow that being connected to dancing on our “tap dance” table in the living room in Iowa. I was in the 6-9 age range.
3) Be kind. Be respectful. Love Big.
There is no harm in being a decent human being. Everyone regardless of how differnet from you they are or they choose to live, deserves kindness and respect.
4) Not all friends are meant for life.
Friends, better yet, People will come in and out of your life for seasons. People you thought you could never live without will venture into a differnet direction never to be heard from again and people you thought were just visiting end up being your closest companions. It may feel sad, but there is something beautiful about the way we come in and out of each other’s lives. You never know the impact a meeting is going to have.
5) Gilmore Girls
I could rewatch Gilmore Girls over and over and over again. There are actually a lot of shows and movies I could do this with (literally currently re-watching New Girl) but this is a show that every time I watch it I have a different opinion about the right guy for Rory, who is in the right or the wrong, and what character I relate too. I just love it. Go watch it.
"I can be flexible as long as everythign is exactly the way I want"
"You jump, I jump"
"Oy with the poodles already!"
6) My answers to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” throughout the years:
Fashion designer, Rock Star, Daycare worker, Actress, Band director, Film Maker, Interior Designer, Costumer, Mom, Wedding Planner, Hostess, Pageant Coordinator, Cheer Coach, Youth Pastor. (honestly sure I forgot some in there)
It is less important to ask the question “WHAT do you want to be” and more important to ask “WHO do you want to be” and “HOW you want to live your life”. I want to be kind, adventurous, helpful, apart of something bigger than myself, creative, impactful, and always be learning. I want to meet new people, travel the country and the world, and have adventures big and small.
7) People fall in and out of love at different times.
8) It is a skill to be able to dance like no one is watching at all hours of the day and at all sobriety levels.
Find your song that helps you let go (some examples: Counting Stars, Shut up and Dance, Come Get Her….there are so many more). Find people who will jump up in a public place and spin in circles because it suddenly started to snow. Find people who will drunk ‘wahoo’ in your snapchat video and those who will actually watch them from home. Find people who will appreciate that you stand on top of things equally drunk and sober. Alcohol should add to the fun but not be the only way you can have fun.
9) Nothing is permanent or guaranteed.
Thanks world Pandemic for forcing me to learn to be flexible.
10) A relationship with Jesus requires action.
It is a two way street. God’s love for us is unconditional but we have to learn to accept that love and to give it back to him, ourselves, and others. A relationship requires work, communication, and sacrifice from both parties.
11) I think everyone should have to take at least one acting class.
I took a lot more than one.
12) I don't make sense.
Everyone will try to put you in a box that makes sense, you don’t have to make sense.
I don’t make sense. I like to have a plan and for things to go a certain way but I also like spontaneity and surprises but I don’t like to be surprised (what?). I am a nerdy band kid, but also a preppy cheerleader. I did pageants and I also played volleyball. I love Jesus and make time to go to church on Sunday, volunteer with the youth group, and pray in my own time. While Friday night I am dancing and drinking at a bar and I cuss a little. I love Taylor Swift, musicals, a good war time movie, Disney, Marvel, Little Women, American Football, camping, hiking, getting dressed up fancy, chai lattes. I am a girlie girl and a bruh girl. I won’t be pushed around and will be brutally honest with you but I also don’t want to be a nuisance and get in the way so I will sacrifice my comfort for yours and try to people please. LIVE your life by your own design.
13) Laughing and Crying are equally important.
One time I cried because my smore fell apart in my hand and was a mess...I was 19 years old channeling that 2 year old I will always be.
A Few Times I laughed so hard I cried:
Trying to film a sketch where I had to open a fridge.
Sitting in church in Paris with my friend.
Performing "Carol of the bells" just with -dos- going back and forth every note with my sister and making my parents watch us.
The emotional crying/sobbing is also so important. Sometimes the weight of it all needs to come out in tears. Sometimes I need to throw a tantrum. Release of emotions is a GOOD thing.
14) There are different types of Love, and its good to clarify what people mean when they say it to you.
Just like there are differnet love languages and ways we receive and give love, there are different types of love. Friendship, family, intimate, agape, the type of love I have for the perfect Parisian croissant. And its okay, actually encouraged to make the people in your life define the love they say they have for you. Its pretty cool to hear what they have to say.
15) Fun Fact: I’ve lived in 2 countries, 4 states, 9 cities, and roughly 15 residences.
I have an identity crisis whenever someone asks where I am from because I am a combination of all the places I’ve lived. Every one of those places was home, I left pieces of me behind and brought pieces of those places with me. Home is a feeling rather than a location.
16) "Living in the now. Living in the time it takes to blink I think is how, we are meant to be living." - The Secret of Happiness
Songs are so powerful. The lyrics feed your mind and the melody feeds your soul. Music heals (so does a nice walk in fresh air, a good night sleep, recomended dose of medication, therapy, a shower, time with close friends)
Another favorite is "Its your life what are you going to do the world is watching you...Everyday the choices you make say what you are and who your heart beats for."
(* Go check out my blog post all about this quote "new phone, who dis")
17) The Bible is a dramedy book rated NC 17 and I will not be taking any questions at this time.
*but also would be happy to talk about this at a later date.
18) Some of my adventures:
I've held three pageant titles. I went to Australia. I moved to France. I fell in love. I watched my brothers being born. I practiced my audition monologue for agents in front of Zendaya. I built houses in Mexico. I got my heart broken. I have been in at least 19 theater shows (its hard to count without a list). I learned to drive. I graduated college with two degrees. I made some movies. I went to a church presbytery conference (actually really interesting). I went to the beach at 11pm and stayed for a bit.
Adventure big or small, it is noteable and this is just a little off the top of my head taste.
So many adventures I wonder what the next 25 years will bring?!
19) Being born in 1997 feels really complicated.
I grew up in transition (hmm maybe that’s another reason its hard for me) started with VHS, I remember when dvr and dvds became a thing. I had a boombox in my room that had a 6 switch cd tray which was SO COOL but then saved money for an ipod nano 4th generation. I had webkinz and Barbies and American Girl Dolls. I don’t remember 9/11 because I was 4 years old but I remember a tone shift, a feeling shift around that time. The millennials won’t claim me, but I don’t fit in the gen-z world because I like my side part, skinny jeans, and was in elementary/middle school trying to convince my mom I could wear a strapless tube top to hang out with my friends. I am a 90s baby, a 2000s kid, and a 10s teenager – the world has changed SO much in that time, and now I am living my 20s in the 20s!
20) Courage is more than being bold.
I have run my life by the quote "all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise something good will come of it" for a very long time now. I have since learned that there is more to courage than just being bold. There is courage in knowing when not to speak, courage in change, in being different, in being the same, in taking the leap, in making the safe choice. Courage is an action, a belief in your ability to make a choice.
21) The specificity of the french language is lost on those who are not born speaking it - Rachel 2022
Sometimes I randomly say really cool things.
22) Don't sleep on American Girl Dolls
My first taste of historical fiction. My first magazine addiction - with cool tips and activities. My first book about the care and keeping of you. My first time really wanting something and finding a way to get it. American Girl Dolls are so cool.
23) Every day find time to do something for yourself: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I spent an entire summer going live on instagram for like two people to watch me (kind of like how two people read this blog, hello.) with the hopes that someone would pop on just at the right time where I would be saying something they needed to hear. It ended up being pretty theraputic to me and helpful in some healing. I ended each live with #23 and telling everyone to live authentically themselves. Repeating it over and over until we all understood it. Breaking it down self care into these four catagories makes it a simple check list that even on days I can barely get out of bed, I try and find a way to check in with each catagory and do a little matience so the next day is not as hard.
24) Truly discover stillness.
It means breathe it all in. It means be aware of life around you. It means feel your own body. It means see your own soul.
25) What does it mean to be 25?
There is a bigger difference between each age then you think there is. Every year I think I am so old and mature and then I look back at that age two, three, seven years later and think - oh that girl had no idea - . As I reflect on the last 25 YEARS I’ve experienced life, I have to be thankful. I’ve had it pretty good. Oh it’s been hard a few times. I’ve been done. I’ve struggled. Cried. Screamed. But I’ve always made it through. I’ve learned. I've laughed. I've loved. I've continued.
Is it a blog post by Rachel if it isn't a mess?! I hope you enjoyed these reflections as much as I did coming up with them. I could've just listed 25 of my favorite quotes or the best tv shows and movies to get to know me or all the cool places I've been to, but it would not have been me if I had kept it simple or contained.
Thank you to each and every one of my friends and family members who have been apart of these last 25 years. Those who have come and gone (and aren't reading this), those who decided to hang out for awhile, and those who have been around the whole time. I am who I am because of you. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for the next 25 years (and hopefully a bit more after that).
~Be you
Rachel
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