Happy. Toxic. Fight. Home.
This year is winding down and as I have been looking back at Junior year I realized I have kept saying this has been one of the hardest years yet, I just want to go home. I am not going to go into why it was a difficult year/semester, but I have learned a few key things.
Be happy and confident with every choice you make. Making decisions is really hard and honestly super scary. I have made my fair share of.....shall we say..... interesting decisions this semester? But what is important is I own up to my decisions and am confident in why I did what I did. The happy part comes in when there are two good options and either way will change my trajectory - I have learned that I have to be confident and happy with my final choice and know that God has me in His hands. Don't weigh yourself down with past choices but be content with what happened and move on.
Get ride of toxic people. Life is too short for all the drama. Be kind to all but don't waste your time with people who are going to drag you down. Surround yourself with people who keep you accountable, pour into you, and who you can do the same back. I like to compare what friendship should look like to Jesus' relationships.
Jesus has 100s of followers --- equivalent to our Facebook friends and Instagram following
12 Disciples --- equivalent to our "crew"/roommates/friends
3 guys came with Jesus to watch over him in the garden --- equivalent to those who will never leave us
It is okay to be friends with everyone on campus, its okay to have a "go to" group of friends for events and beach days, but find yourself a solid core of just a few people to pour into, who will always have your back. Be kind to "Judas" but don't waste your time with his drama.
Invest in Peter, who may deny you 3 times --- seems selfish in her choices
Be patient with Thomas who needs proof --- needs affirmation and guidance
Forgive Peter, James, and John for falling asleep --- sometimes friends do stupid and annoying shit - forgive them
Don't freak out if you haven't found those core people, you have your whole life, just don't waste time and energy now on toxic relationships.
Fight back. Fight for what you believe in and don't let anyone de-rail you. But also LISTEN to what others have to say. Sometimes, beliefs change and that is okay. Humble your pride and get over yourself. Honestly that is huge - GET OVER YOURSELF - this life, this world, is NOT ABOUT YOU. It is about growing God's kingdom and following His plan for your life to glorify Him. Stand up for what you believe but don't be afraid if it changes.
This semester, this year, has been a tough one. Tears have been shed, words have been spoken, feelings have been hurt, hearts have been broken. Laughter has been shared, stories have been told, memories have been made, I have learned to become more bold.
I am ready for summer. I am ready to go home.
Be you
~ Rachel
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